Workshop in Compassionate Communication
(also known as Nonviolent Communication or NVC)
with Ilarion
(also known as Nonviolent Communication or NVC)
with Ilarion
Ilarion does not have any workshops currently scheduled.
Would you like to…
· cultivate a practice that embodies true compassionate understanding?
· learn techniques for helping others and yourself when one is emotionally charged?
· improve collaboration with your loved ones?
· access insight and understanding that can help you heal?
· forgive others more fully?
What’s covered in the workshop?
· Introduction to Compassionate Communication
· Empathy and applications for healing
You’ll learn the steps of NVC, plus insightful information to ensure we are implementing the steps correctly. We will offer additional techniques, such as how to use NVC to both communicate and to listen. You will have the opportunity to integrate this information into your own life in a way that is helpful.
· cultivate a practice that embodies true compassionate understanding?
· learn techniques for helping others and yourself when one is emotionally charged?
· improve collaboration with your loved ones?
· access insight and understanding that can help you heal?
· forgive others more fully?
What’s covered in the workshop?
· Introduction to Compassionate Communication
· Empathy and applications for healing
You’ll learn the steps of NVC, plus insightful information to ensure we are implementing the steps correctly. We will offer additional techniques, such as how to use NVC to both communicate and to listen. You will have the opportunity to integrate this information into your own life in a way that is helpful.
Additional Information:
What is NVC?
Compassionate Communication, or Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a set of intentions and a way of communicating that is based on honoring the needs of all, including ourselves. It is a way of thinking that moves us beyond judgement, beyond the dualistic paradigm of right and wrong, or of one knowing “better” than another.
NVC holds the intention that we can ask, “How can I make my life more wonderful? How can I contribute to your wellbeing, and you to mine?” It invites us to answer these questions in concrete, clear, and fulfilling ways. And the idea is that everyone wins. It isn't about compromise, it is about collaboration.
NVC offers a clear process to communicate our needs and feelings in a way that is effective, and focuses on what we want, rather than what we don't want. It facilitates our needs being met, with heart-felt connection. Likewise, it offers us a way to listen to others with compassion, to hear another's words without feeling blamed or “at fault” for their emotions. Through NVC, we own our own feelings, and learn to understand and communicate what is beneath those feelings. And, NVC can allow for healing, through intentions and sharing presence.
While NVC's initial 4 part process is relatively simple, to utilize it fully takes understanding, insight, and practice. Beyond the 4 initial steps, there are further techniques within it that are invaluable in utilizing the process fully. Without this further information, NVC can be applied without aligned intention or effectiveness in helping one another. Once we understand it, we can bring this process into our daily life, to help us communicate and listen in a way that is beneficial and effective. With this, we can allow our needs to be met more fully, and help others achieve their wishes as well.
Why is it called . . . . . ?
In the name “Non-Violent Communication,” the idea of violence is referring to the thinking that we or others are bad or wrong or have done bad or wrong-- i.e. I “should” have done this-- or they “should” have done that. This way of thinking implies that someone's actions or behavior might make them less than or better than another, and thus is utilized in domination cultures such as our own. It suggests that we or others deserve punishment for actions or behaviors. It is implicit in a system of “power over” rather than “power with.”
NVC offers a “power with” model-- with our friends, with co-workers, with partners, with our children, with anyone. In my experience, we are cultured in a way that reduces connection rather than creates it. NVC fosters greater connection with ourselves, with others, and any one with meet. It is a way of understanding the world.
Marshall Rosenberg himself, the originator of NVC, now wishes he had called it “Compassionate Communication” to begin with. However, since so many around the world utilize the term “NVC”, it fulfills the need for connection to this community and way of thinking around the world to continue using the words “Nonviolent Communication” or NVC for short.
My own experience
NVC is a healing process. Often the insight brought forth by the process allows for healing in itself-- over and over again this has proven to be true in my life. The compassionate way of holding space allows healing for those being listened to. Sometimes all it takes for us to heal and to move forward is to be truly heard, truly understood (whether it is with ourself, or another). And those acting as listeners can hold that current of compassion that is in itself healing. I wish I had learned it in kindergarten-- it could have made my life so much easier, lighter, fun, and effective!
I was first introduced to NVC in 2005, and it mirrored my own efforts to communicate in ways that truly honor those in my life, especially at times when I had 'challenging' things to speak. While I have not always integrated it into my life in all of my conversations and connections with others, the more I focus on using it, the more effective and lighter my conversations are. This process has allowed, over the years, for some of the most healing and insightful conversations I have ever had with others, when it was fully applied. Truly it is an honor to bring this and help us all help ourselves and others.
photo credit: copyright 2014 Peter Alan Gersten